Aunt Rosemary opens her heart and arms up for a big hug. What do you do when your child hides behind you, or worse yet, runs away? Holidays are a time when many children meet relatives for the first time, and that makes for many parenting difficulties. Relatives, who have seen pictures of your child on social media since before they were born, may feel they know your child, but that doesn't mean your child feels the same way. Here are some parenting tips for when your child won't hug relatives:
Get Your Child Prepared: If you know that your child may be shy around relatives, prepare ahead of time. Show them pictures, and explain who they are going to meet. Tell some funny stories or talk about why you like that person. Prepare your child for how that relative might act. Explain that Uncle John loves to put his arm around your shoulder or that Grandma hugs everyone.
Give Your Child Choices: Giving your child some choices of action is one of the best parenting practices in difficult situations. Children do need to learn to greet people and be respectful, but they don't necessarily have to accept close physical contact from someone they don't really know. In fact, experts note that learning to be cautious about physical contact is a safety issue for children. So when your child won't hug a relative, give them other choices, like waving, shaking hands, smiling and nodding, or doing a high five.
Be the Buffer for Your Child: If a relative continues to insist on a hug, you may need to intervene. While Cousin Natalie might be offended if your child won't give her a hug, you can ease the situation by giving her a hug yourself and explaining that your child needs some time to get used to new people.
Spending time in a play centered preschool like Kids Konnect can teach children how to handle social situations. Do you have parenting ideas or stories of how you have handled situations with relatives? Help all of us by sharing in the comments.