The second year of a child's life is filled with excitement. While developmental milestones are normal and healthy, a common but unpleasant behavior that may develop is toddler biting. If you are the parent of a biting child or if your child is being bitten at preschool, learning more about why toddlers bite and how you can help should get the problem straightened out in short order.
Toddlers Bite In Order to Cope With a Challenge Or Fulfill a Need
Toddlers have a relatively small amount of control over their bodies; since the mouth tends to tense during periods of frustration, toddler biting may occur in youngsters who cannot release their stress in healthy ways. Crying, laughing, and tantrumming are all normal ways young children relieve frustration, and encouraging these forms of release can help your child curb a biting habit.
When a toddler is feeling scared or is in need of more physical contact and/or words of assurance, they may not feel safe enough to cry or have a normal tantrum; during these moments of building frustration with no other immediate place to vent, toddler biting may occur. Lacking the ability to control their physical responses, a frustrated toddler may bite to release tension that has built to an uncontrollable level.
Additionally, some toddlers bite in an attempt to communicate a need for more personal space (such as if they feel another child is standing too close), or to satisfy a need for oral stimulation. Trying your best to understand the underlying cause of the biting will help you develop an effective response and increases the likelihood of eliminating the inappropriate behavior.
Encourage Healthy Forms of Stress Relief to Correct Toddler Biting
The best way to help a toddler correct a biting habit is to help them use healthy methods of stress relief including laughing, crying, and tantrumming. Allowing a toddler the opportunity to move through an entire range of feelings from anger to joy is a wonderful experience and is likely to satisfy the deep emotional needs of a toddler much more effectively than biting ever could.
If you are the parent or caregiver of a biting toddler, taking extra time to listen to their needs, hold them, make eye contact, and acknowledge that you are there to help can encourage the child to cry deeply and/or tantrum in a normal way, releasing tensions without harming anyone. Completing this special time with the child's favorite game can lead to laughter and a totally different child compared to the one who had previously used biting to communicate or release stress.
If Your Child is Bitten At Preschool, Talking With Caregivers Can Help
If your child is on the receiving end of biting at preschool, talk to the teacher first. It is important to remember that toddler biting does not mean the biting child is "bad", but is in need of extra attention to help them to feel safe enough to communicate or release their tension in a healthier way.
Explain the child's deeper needs for attention, space, or stimulation, and encourage the teacher to spend additional time with the biter to bring the peace of mind needed to transition to healthier means of gratification. Remind the teacher that it is important to intervene with gentle physical restraint if they believe a child is about to bite another child. The problem may require assistance from the biting toddler's parent(s), who may be unaware that their child is biting others at preschool.
Never Blame the Biting Child; Show Them They Are Loved
Remember, children are people, no matter how small, and being blamed for an uncontrollable action is not only unfair but tends to make the problem worse. It is through love and compassion that we as parents will be able to teach the next generation healthy and natural ways of dealing with stressors that will continue throughout our lives.
