The screams coming sound like they should be coming from a much larger body. Red face, tears streaming down and shouts of "No!" between the screams. This is scene every parent is familiar with in some form or another. It could have started for a multitude of reasons, and the cause does not have to be readily apparent to the adult, the child knows why. Tantrums and misbehavior are often part of a toddler's day. There are ways, however, to lessen these and get a child to behave in a proper manner. Below are some tips for parents of toddlers or a preschool age child to make your day, and your child's, more pleasant.
Express expectations
A child's memory grows as she ages and we can't assume she remembers "the rules" from morning until evening, let alone from day to day. Before starting an outing, tell your child how you expect her to behave. Let her know what behavior is appropriate for the setting. Once you arrive, and before you enter wherever you are going, go over the rules again and have her relate them back to you to make sure she truly understands.
Speak in positive form
Toddlers and preschoolers learn very quickly to filter out negative words such as "no" and "don't". Instead of telling your child what behavior you don't want to see, trying forming it into a positive statement of what you do want. For example, instead of saying "Don't talk loudly." tell him "Use a quiet voice." So often we get caught up in stopping a behavior that we forget to let our children know what substitute behavior is acceptable.
Consider her physical and mental state
A child who is hungry, tired or physically uncomfortable doesn't yet have the words to explain her feelings or to even understand why she can't cope with the current situation. Always keep a light, non-messy snack handy and try not to go anywhere that requires "good" behavior if she hasn't had a nap. Also ask yourself if it may be too hot or cold, if she may have a pain or if there is something else causing discomfort. Often a quick remedy can change an entire attitude immediately.
Offer incentives
Of all the tips for parents of toddlers, this one is often the most controversial. We want our children to behave because it is the proper thing to do, not just to get something. It is not, however, bribery, to offer incentives for behavior. Consider why you go to work. Would you always go and perform adequately if it weren't for that check on payday? In the majority of cases, the answer is "No!". The reward does not have to be material, it can be anything that has meaning to your child. One little boy expressed his wish to give his mother a birthday gift and she told him the best gift would be a good day report from his kindergarten teacher. When she picked him up, he proudly showed her the first "great day" paper he had yet to receive.
Re-direction
When your child starts to misbehave, try to see if you can direct her attention in a different direction. If she's fighting about sharing a toy, try to get her interested in a different one. If she is doing something inappropriate for the setting, try to substitute another action that will capture her interest. Toddler's and preschoolers memories are short and she'll soon forget what was upsetting her.
These are just a few tips for parents of toddlers that will help keep both you and your child sane and improve your child's behavior
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